I actually went to see a Career Counsellor a few months back. I really hoped that it would help. But it didn't. The problem is that I've been doing the same thing for a while now. I'm becoming the proverbial old dog who wont learn new tricks. 

 I am not making a big effort to find another job, because I've been getting pretty regular work at the CBC. I've been neglecting the whole issue, which only feels like homework. Especially because it has yielded so few results. I've sent a few applications in, perhaps 8 or 10 serious ones. Not one call back. 

 The only interview I got was the one for the Surrey RCMP. And they chose someone else.  I also applied to the Vancouver RCMP as a researcher. Just friday for the US consulat in Calgary. 

  To the City of Vancouver as an Urban Planning assistant. The BC gov to work in their HR ministry. Which actually sounded like a great way to learn about jobs and later choose one. So I also thought about HR studies, and, along the same lines, od working for a Temp Agency. Again as a way to learn about the jobs that exist out there. 

 I applied to the government of Canada to work in Tourism. I've submitted my resume to VanOC for the 2010 Olympics. Actually I have to check the status of that. 

 I've applied to various Communications positions, just because I studied Communication, not really because I see myself doing that. 

 My mom has connections for me to become a teacher. But there to, not so sure I really want to do that. 

 I'm affraid of not getting a job, mostly. But I am also aware that I might find a job that I don't like, and end up sticking to it anyway. 

 And TV. Well, perhaps I just need a break. But I don't think a vacation will be enough. I am sick of Television. I really want to get into a new industry. 

 My brother in law works in Alberta extracting Natural Gas. He earns 8,000$/month, after only 5 months there. No education. Two weeks on, two weeks home. It is very tempting. He works barely more than I do, in hours per month, but earns twice what I do. Only he is away from home more than I. I guess, in a way, I am paying 60,000$ a year for the privilege of being home every night.   Only it wouldn't possible unless I moved much closer. 

 Which we are actually talking about. We should do a road trip for the Kootenays soon, in order to check it all out. I think I might be able to be happy in Nelson or Revelstoke. Those towns have populations of 10,000 people. Insanely small. It might drive me absolutely nuts. But than again, perhaps I'll be healthier and happier that ever before. 

 The smallest city I ever lived in was Quebec City, where I was raised. And urban area of 600,000. Then Montreal at 3 million, then Vancouver at 2 million. Vancouver sometimes feels like a big bad city. But I know it so well that it also feels small at times. But there is no denying that I suffer from stress more than I should. Partly because of the awfull commuting, whether on my bike or in my car.   Living in North Vancouver would be great if I could find a job in North Vancouver. 

 I could at the French school there. But I don't think I want to baby sit kids all day every day. I've been meaning to check out the planning departments of the municalities there. 

   

  God, what am I going to do with my life?

So it is Spetember 8th 2008. It is Monday morning, I'm working at Radio-Canada (the French CBC). I am editing on Avid Media Composer this week. Right now I am digitizing tapes and have some time to write and reflect.

 The deadline is in 3 days to apply for CCEE. The deadline has already passed for this semester for the BC Justice institute. And these are only random suggestions anyway. I have not done my homework. I have not looked closely at the programs that are offered at these insitutions. Nor have I looked at other programs or other institutions. I have not either looked closely enough at different jobs out there, so I don't even know if going back to school is even necessary.

 This is the 8th September, in my life, that I am not going back to school. I'd forgotten about this old pang, but for the last few years I'd been content and planning keep working in Media. This time I am unhappy with my career and hungry for change.